Game writing: “I want my car back” and other reasons to fight

Game writing is sometimes worse off than I think it is. Really. It’s just gawdawful ridiculous, even in some of the most hallowed franchises.

I have to give props to EGM (Electronic Gaming Monthly) for their WTFiction!? series. These two-page spreads at the back of the mag are shining examples of how to pinpoint ridiculous game writing in revered games like Final Fantasy (you knew that was coming) and even Halo.  They did a WTFiction!? countdown over the last several issues, ending with the number one most ridiculous game writing of all time in the February 2008 issue. I’m not going to spoil that one for you quite yet, but stay tuned.

Best of all, for you who are too cheap to buy the mag or too lazy to read it on paper, some of these hilarious features are posted on their website. The Street Fighter WTFiction!? feature is a good one, for example — in it, we find out that Dudley’s rationale for training his lil’ buns off and risking life and limb in Street Fighter bouts is… because he wants his car back from Gill. That’s some quality game writing.

Dude, just go to Carmax and get yourself a Honda Fit or something…!

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