Videogame controversy: Seanbaby is Killzone hero

I have a “Separated at Birth” videogame controversy that rocks the foundations of the videogame reporting world.

So… in August’s issue of EGM magazine, they published a letter likening GTA4’s Niko Bellic to some Serbian baddie from Behind Enemy Lines. C’mon, seriously. Behind Enemy Lines? Let’s talk about a real eerie likeness.

I’m talking about a cover story videogame and one of EGM’s own game writers. That’s right. The party’s over. I know.

I know that Killzone 2’s main man is a thinly-veiled digital tribute to EGM’s own Seanbaby.

There it is. I’ve said it, and damn the consequences. I can hear the helicopters circling already. I’ll be hunted, but at least my comrades in videogamer-y will know the truth!

Sgt. Tomas Sevchenko is Seanbaby. Just pull out your August issue of this great videogame mag and flip back and forth between pages 61 and 90.

I knew Seanbaby was powerful. The Olsen twins tremble at the mention of his name. But now I truly grok how the system works. Developer Guerilla Games wants a cover story. EGM says, “What’s in it for us, bustaz?!?” And then Guerilla Games… cravenly caves to EGM’s vainglorious demands! Seanbaby’s distinctive leer, pasty complexion, Dumbo ears, brooding eyebrows, and signature two-tone mohawk/coxcomb/headcrest. It’s all right there on page 61. As Tomas Sevchenko.

And then Guerilla gets their cover story. It’s fan service, targeted at one special, super-powerful, uber-sarcastic videogame writer fan.

God help us all.

– mr. videogame writer guy, fugitive

[editor’s note: EGM is a fantastic mag, and after some of the tiffs they’ve had with advertisers who want to control their content, I’d be the last guy to cast doubts on their journalistic integrity. But let’s face it: the sardonic and often hilarious Seanbaby does look a lot like Sevchenko.]

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