Console and videogame names are funny eccentricities of the games industry. Our guest hosts Bud Abbott and Lou Costello, here to help us commemorate the 50th anniversary of the original videogame company, have a few words on the topic of videogame console names!
Bud Abbott: Well, Lou, glad you can make it to Atari 50, the 50th anniversary worldwide celebration of the legendary game console company.
Lou Costello: Oh boy oh boy. I love me some Atari. I heard Forbes called the Atari 50 game collection “arguably the best value for money you’ll get from a game in 2022”!
Abbott: That’s what I hear! And the management here at Videogamewriter.com has asked me to review some console history to mark the occasion. Are you ready for a killer diller tour?
Costello: Hot diggity dog! Yeah, let’s talk games!
Abbott: Quite a lot of history in these magic boxes.
Costello: Look at that. There are so many of them. Hard to figure out which one should be played first.
Abbott: Oh, I can give you a refresher, but hold on to your hat…! They give these things some very peculiar names. I mean, would you ever be so far out in left field to name your console “WonderSwan”?
Costello: What a cockamamie idea!
Abbott: Yep. From Bandai in 1999.
Costello: I hear the console code names are even more outrageous.
Abbott: You heard right, Lou! How about the MARZ with a Z? Short for Microsoft Active Reality Zone.
Costello: That is a very peculiar reality. Did the Martians like it?
Abbott: That same console also had the creepy code name Cyber Playground.
Costello: What a crack up! Which console was that?
Abbott: Believe it or not, that was the first Xbox…!
Costello: Got it. The Xbox One.
Abbott: No, no, Lou. The first Xbox. It’s just called “the Xbox.” The Xbox One was really Xbox number 3. It’s confusing, like I told ya.
Costello: Three was first? What kind of sense does that make?
Abbott: Right? And of course Xbox number 2 was the three… sixty. Pretty funny, huh? Those guys at Microsoft have a wacky sense of humor.
Costello: You’re making my head spin 360. Give it to me again. Which Xbox was first?
Abbott: It was just called the Xbox.
Costello: Okay okay. Got it. But how do you tell an Xbox One from the Xbox?
Abbott: Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you that the fourth Xbox was also just called the Xbox, but it came in two different flavors, the Series S and the Series X. So just remember that. The first and fourth don’t have numbers. The second was the 360. And the third was the Xbox One. Easy peasy.
Costello: Next you’ll tell me that one plus one equals three.
Abbott: I wouldn’t do that to you, Lou.
Costello: You’re making this clear as mud. You just said that the fourth Xbox was the Xbox.
Costello: And you said the Xbox was the first Xbox!
Abbott: Now you’re getting it…! Now don’t forget — the fourth Xbox had two models, so mostly people call them the Xbox Series S and the Xbox Series X. Just don’t confuse those with the Xbox One S and Xbox One X.
Costello: Ohhhhh come over here so I can smack you one X. X marks the spot, buster!
Abbott: Calm down, Lou. There’s no need to snap your cap.
Costello: I’ll Xbox you one right in the kisser!
Abbott: Oh, you want to play a fighting game? There are plenty of good ones on the Xbox.
Costello: Are you trying to make me feel like a fathead? This isn’t a game. This is serious. We’re talking about games here.
Abbott: Oh, come off it, Lou. How about some Nintendo? Are you a fan of the Nintendo Entertainment System?
Costello: Which one?
Abbott: Stop fooling around. The Nintendo Entertainment System, or NES.
Costello: Or NES? You mean orneryness? I’m definitely feeling some of that.
Abbott: Which was followed of course by the SNES.
Costello: Bless you. Keep your distance; I don’t wanna get sick.
Abbott: Of course, when you talk consoles the conversation has to include the record-breaking Sony Playstation.
Costello: I thought this was going to be a family show, not a peep show!
Abbott: Oh please.
Costello: You’re pulling my leg here, cappy, and I don’t like it. Not one bit!
Abbott: And when it comes to innovative controls, we can’t forget the Wii.
Costello: Nor can we wee to forget. Although we’d like to. We’d like to forget all of this and just play some games.
Abbott: Our readers will appreciate us mentioning the Wii U, too.
Costello: You, me, we, them… I think all of our heads are spinning.
Abbott: And we might wrap it up with the Series X.
Costello: I dunno, Bud. That might be too much. How many consoles are in Series X?
Abbott: It’s… it’s just one console, Lou.
Costello: You just said it’s a series. Are you saying they only made one of them?
Abbott: It’s the Xbox Series X. It’s the newest Xbox and the only console to support 4K gaming.
Costello: I think you need to get a dictionary.
Abbott: It’s a little confusing, but I’m sure you’ll get it.
Costello: I’m not getting it. These console and videogame names are too much. SNES, Microsoft, Wii, Playstation, Nintendo. Switch off the lights; I’m done.
Abbott: Now you’re getting it! Enlighten the readers about the Nintendo Switch!
Costello: Now there’s a Nintendo switch? Is that what you use to turn on a SNES?
Abbott: No, it’s what you use to play Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
Costello: Bud, this has been so cockeyed I’m going to hide away and play some of these nifty console games. I need an escape.
Abbott: Okay, but don’t play too long. Next year’s the 10th anniversary of the Xbox One!
Costello: And I for one can say I’ve learned one thing about videogame names today: if it’s not one Xbox… it’s another!