What the heck happened, M. Night Shyamalan?
I just saw the ad for the new M. Night movie. It’s designed to look like some kind of andromeda strain movie.
“There appears to be an event happening,” a man intones. This, according to our statistics, is the blandest, most uninformative, passive-voice piece of advertising ever recorded in the history of modern advertising (post-1890).
Then we see the word SOMETHING flash in big letters. People look panicked.
IS, say the titles. Some crap about it being a three-stage phenomenon, going from disorientation to fatality.
HAPPENING, say the titles. Apparently the fatality is caused by people spontaneously being turned into silhouettes that fall from great heights.
Suspense! And now the name of our filmic production? It’s called THE HAPPENING.
Oh. My. Gawd. How could this be?
How could M. Night make such a laughable and airheaded trailer?
How could the guy behind The Sixth Sense continue to piss away his once-mighty creative license with movies like Signs and The Village?
How can this guy continue to land talent like Wahlberg, the star of his new pic?
Does he still know how to tell a good idea from a weak one? Has he lost the knack of screenwriting?
The third stage is fatal
M. Night, the clock is ticking. This Happening better be happening. Hollowood is the home of upward failure, but you know, you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. Even fanboys.