Keynote: Steve Jobs Announces iPad Newton

Steve Jobs Debuts iPad Newton at Keynote

STEVE JOBS KEYNOTE, SAN FRANCISCO, JULY 2010

World, meet the new iPad Newton. As suspected at Patently Apple, which noted in March that Apple renewed their Newton trademark, Steve Jobs announced at a conference keynote that Apple has transformed the past into the future by introducing the iPad Newton.

The iPad Newton improves on a number of issues that are well-known to iPad 1 owners. The WiFi antenna has been relocated for stronger reception, and the screen sensitivity has improved for typing purposes.┬áJobs also pointed out the product’s “downwardly compatible” mode which converts the iPad Newton to a black-and-white PDA with a maximum resolution of 336 x 240 pixels and the inability to differentiate between letterforms. Although included mostly for nostalgia purposes, the black-and-white mode also enables the iPad Newton to run off four fully-charged AAA batteries – for up to 7 minutes, according the presentation notes at the keynote.

Steve Jobs described the iPad Newton as the “realization of the original Newton’s promise to bring awkwardly-sized personal computing to satchels and man-purses around the world.” Jobs continued his keynote by listing the six women’s purses that are large enough to accommodate an iPad Newton or original iPad without a tailor’s or leatherworker’s expertise.

“We sold the Newton, warts and all, for $1000 in 1993,” Jobs said. “We’re asking $600 for this sucker now. Who says our products are marked up beyond reason?”

Steve Jobs Keynotes Dissected

Okay, we admit that Steve Jobs hasn’t leaked any such thing. In a long summer we have to amuse ourselves with something, like an imaginary keynote.

Steve Jobs’ keynote technique is something of legend, actually. Known as a Stevenote, a Jobs keynote is greeted with sometimes slavish anticipation and can herald the advent of industry-changing technologies. The Steve Jobs keynote even has its own wikipedia page. Persuasive and commanding, Jobs often opens with sales figures and performs a mock close as the anticipation grows for the expected announcement. Then he’ll turn around and return to the mike with the phrase, “There is just one more thing…” which usually elicits raucous cheers.

It’s corporate theatre – people cheering for a product announcement they could probably recite with 99% accuracy – but it’s certainly more entertaining that most keynotes, and the audience is in on the joke.

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2 Comments

  1. I heard today that Steve Jobs is taking his third medical leave!! So he can focus on his health. Is this the end of the Apple empire? The stock exchange of Frankfurt responded with a share value which was 7% down! I am curious Apple share’s will do tomorrow at the NYE

  2. Yes indeed! Jobs has taken a medical leave, with no timeline on his return. “I love Apple so much and hope to be back as soon as I can. In the meantime, my family and I would deeply appreciate respect for our privacy.” The plea for privacy does sound vaguely ominous. Tomorrow is the Apple quarterly earnings call and I’m sure Jobs’ leave will be discussed.

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