Man Walks Miles in the Snow to Honor Qbert

See this fellow? He walks miles in deep snow, for hours, for a noble cause. To honor the arcade game Qbert.

Here’s what that snow art looks like:

I can hear Qbert jumping from cube to cube right now! Spoing spoing!

Okay, maybe it isn’t actually Qbert-themed. Simon Beck is our snow artist and apparently his work changes appearance when viewed from different angles. Find out more here.

Remembering Rocket Jockey

rocket-jockey-videogame-designRocket Jockey, the Myth, the Legend

Rocket Jockey was the first and arguably the best published game I worked on. Published in 1996 to very little notice, RJ was well-received by videogame critics who happened to notice it. And it was worthy of notice, although I should note that the bulk of the credit goes to Denis Fung, our lead engineer; Elliot Fan, our art director; J Patton, our fearless leader; a zesty soundtrack/audio palette from Tom Hays; and Sean Callahan, who served not only as one of our lead programmers but also as the primary game designer.

Oh, I almost forgot: Elon Musk also contributed, although he was working out of the Palo Alto office so I never met him. Sean says he remembers that Elon was working on some of the driver code. Unfortunately, he didn’t contribute enough to RJ to make it into the credits. However, he did enough to warrant this Kotaku article on his game development career.

What Is Rocket Jockey?

I think Next Generation (March 1997, not available online) summed it up nicely so I’ll quote them:

In Rocket Jockey, you’re the pilot of a homespun rocket bike (duh), competing in a variety of gladiatorial events. There’s only one catch: rockets go really fast, and they aren’t exactly known for their maneuverability. So each rocket bike comes equipped with steel cables and grappling hooks for snagging objects such as poles, people, and so on in order to change direction [and gank other players, of course-GWC]…

Once you get the hang of using the cables for turning and grabbing items, flying around on these rockets is bizarrely enjoyable… Each of the three events is different — for instance in Rocket Ball, players use the cables to grab oversize soccer balls and get them into the goal — but the real attraction is the sickly satisfying amount of violence you can inflict on the other jockeys.

I should also note that Next Gen gave the game four stars of five (withholding a star because of the lack of multiplayer, which they promised to award when the patch was released) and called it a “surprising mix of style, humor, and fun.”

The Rocket Jockey Prototype

The first glimpse I had of the game was in the conference room at our headquarters at 139 Townsend in the SOMA district in San Francisco, a spot that is now across the street from AT&T Park, the Giants’ home stadium. This was before I joined the team and before I started working as a developer. My official title at Rocket Science Games was system administrator; I worked in IT, keeping computers running and drop-kicking the mail server every few weeks (rest in Hades, ccMail).

rocket-jockey-scallahanOne of the devs let me take a peek at the demo, which was running on a PowerMac (please, no laughter) that they’d set up for a pitch with some publisher or partner. I had no idea what the concept was or how to control the demo.

And frankly it looked horrible. In the middle of the screen was a giant colored block, sitting on the ground in the middle of a field. Field being generous since it was a flat colored surface devoid of texture. I think there might’ve been a primitive figure sitting on the block; I can’t remember. If there was, the rider was probably composed of five boxes. I couldn’t figure out how to move the block or the figure, but clearly it was meant to be a man on a vehicle of some sort. I think I said something about tractor racing.

Of course, I was aware that it was a pre-alpha meant to provide proof of concept for basic gameplay mechanics. Pretty textures and models are irrelevant to gameplay. An intelligent developer can use a 10-poly model of anything to test the way a game actually moves and feels. If I’d known the keys to accelerate and grapple, I’d have left the conference room with a much better idea of what was to come.

Joining the Team

jpatton-rjbillboard Some months after, J Patton, the Rocket Jockey producer (the equivalent of a Hollywood director), asked me to come on to the team as a designer. I was electrified, even though J made it clear that it was a strictly volunteer gig. My IT responsibilities were still 100% in force.

J was taking a risk by offering me the opportunity. I could’ve easily damaged some of the game’s assets during production, or become a burdensome source of drama, tension, and incessant questions for the team when deadlines inched ever closer.

Of course, I was intent on contributing. I reported in every day at my desk upstairs, but rushed down to the RJ lair every day at lunch and as soon as the day ended. It was crunch already and we often worked deep into the night. I have a number of stories from this time that I’ll post later, but let’s just say that we knew it was something special when we rounded the final stretch.

Jamal Jennings, one of our lead testers, was a key indicator. Despite having played hour after hour of the game in all states of disrepair, Jamal fiercely championed the game and swore that he still enjoyed playing it after it was approved and left Test. That’s the only time I’ve ever heard a tester say that.

Blastoff… with a Thud

The whole time I worked on RJ, J struggled to get the game marketed to our satisfaction. I won’t point any fingers, but let’s just say that certain objectives were not completed properly to lay the foundation for a successful launch. Two examples come immediately to mind.

First, J once took me aside to show me an email from a friend of his who worked for an industry magazine. His friend was asking J for materials he could use to prepare a preview of RJ. “Where’s your game?” was the gist of the message. I have to admit that (being a callow youth) I wasn’t sure what was wrong. Of course, it’s clear to me now: it’s not the magazine’s job to beg you for material so they can write about your product. It’s your marketing department’s job to do the begging. At the time a game preview was one of the best marketing boons that could happen to your game, and a stepping stone to getting that all-important magazine cover. If J’s friend was poking him for materials, that meant that we had ZERO chance of getting covered at all the other magazines where we didn’t have connections.

Second example: We tiffed vigorously with marketing about the game’s box design, which as you can see was unlike any other box design on the planet in a bad way: a vibrant tattoo, basically, with a dirty tire-tread texture in the background. Huh? This design appeals to bikers and BMXers and tattoo artists, but really says nothing about RJ.

I mean, there’s not a tire or wheel anywhere in the entire game. Nothing in the design alludes to the game’s unique alt-reality retro feel. Or the cartoony quality of the action. Or the rockets. Or the three sporting event types (race, ball, and war). For all you know, it’s a game where you pilot a flaming skull into a big mountain of dirt.

As feared, the game didn’t do well, with one estimate of sales at 5,000 units. J probably has a more accurate number. Personally, it was the start of my videogame industry career, thanks to J and the RJ team, but the accomplishment does still feel hollow. In this industry you only get a few shots at a breakout success and in my opinion, this was ours.

Oh, one more funny story. We had a simple dinner at a nearby restaurant to celebrate the shipping of the game. J thanked me for working on RJ while still continuing with my IT duties, and Elliot Fan, our art director, was stunned. J laughed. It was the highest praise Elliot could have given me, because he’d been convinced I’d been working fulltime on the game.

The Tech

There were a few prominent technological innovations in RJ (not including all the subtle ones): 3D graphics card support, and LAN multiplayer support (lamentably delayed). At the time, 3D graphics were just hitting the market, and most 3D games required the purchase of a dedicated 3D card that you had to install in your PC chassis. The practice seems ridiculously convoluted now, when even the most primitive cellphone can render 3D graphics, but it was just gaining momentum at the time.

Update on May 15, 2014: J writes, “One other thing that I think was noteworthy for RJ was its support of force feedback sticks. Though at the time we didn’t have a distribution method to patch in the DLLs we counted on the peripheral guys to help. This was before it became a thing and was lumped in with console rumble (or vibration motors).”

The Reviews

“Rocket Jockey accomplished the impossible: it brought us a completely original gaming experience by breathing life into two game genres that have been done to death, first-person action and racing combat.” – cnet/gamecenter.com, Nominated for Best Action Game of the Year

“Addictive missile-riding mayhem” – CGW (3.5 stars out of 5, lack of multiplayer cited)

“Stylish, campy, and bizarrely addictive” – PC Gamer (85% rating)

“A wicked sense of humor and speed-demon action come together in a game as inventive as it is addictive.” – WIRED

If You’re Keeping Score

Your humble Game Writer Guy (me) had to compile a list of the levels I created for a job interview once. I had the list lying around in my RJ folder and here it is in case anyone cares:

Rocket War

Circuit 2: Beat Em & Bomb Em

Circuit 5: Life Sucks

Rocket Ball

Circuit  2: Puckhenge Circuit

5: Personal Injury Bowl

Rocket Race

Circuit 1: On the Rocket

Circuit 1: Driver’s Ed

Circuit 4: Cable Fodder

What a Ride

The sad thing is that the game kinda sold itself, but it just never had a legitimate shot. Everyone I’ve met who’s played it loves it passionately. And it does seem like a strangely high proportion of game industry professionals have played it. I also remember seeing shout-outs to RJ in reviews of Jet Moto, a spiritual successor that had more life and more sequels than RJ ever did.

Of course, RJ itself had its share of ancestors. Sean told us that Joust was a big influence, and certainly there’s an element of the EA motorcycling beat-’em-up Road Rash in there too. Whatever the influences, you have to admit that getting three unique modes for the price of one was not a bad deal, especially when you throw in the distinctive physics-based gameplay, the insanely cartoonish violence, and the spiffy soundtrack.

I personally tried to inquire about buying the property after Rocket Science Games went through bankruptcy, but the lawyer who represented the owners (the original investors in Rocket Science, to whom the assets returned after the collapse) never returned any of my repeated calls. I also gave that number to Jamal when he tried to investigate, with the same result.

Probably the highest praise is all the continuing efforts to revive and praise the game. According to Wikipedia at least five efforts have been made to remake the game in some form or other, usually as a mod of an existing game. There’s also a Facebook group for RJ which still has chatter and postings. Who woulda guessed.

And lastly, Ars Technica wrote an article about RJ recently titled “Masterpiece: Rocket Jockey for the PC — you heard me.” What more needs to be said after that?

npesp32.dll: A Virus False Alarm

Beloved geeks,

Just a quick note about npesp32.dll, a little-known and horribly undocumented Windows DLL. For some reason, my antivirus program, the unremarkable but free AVG, took a disliking to npesp32.dll, tagging it as the host for the “Generic22.BYCR” virus.

I quarantined it and fortunately did not delete it, because shortly thereafter, both iTunes and Windows Explorer started to complain about their lost friend. Then I ran Malwarebytes Anti-Malware to see if it concurred about the npesp32.dll sitch, and the answer was a big NO.

This happened a few months ago, so hopefully AVG has updated their databases. If not, well, hopefully you find this post and avoid deleting this DLL.

Your pal,

Game Writer Guy

 

Hulu Plus Review-ette

Hulu Plus Sounds Useful

You know, it’s not hard to like Hulu Plus. One of the big wins for me is that Hulu Plus has a huge catalog of Criterion collection movies. These are classic arthouse movies and canonical cinema landmarks from a wide range of eras. And they have some essential TV shows that Netflix doesn’t have. But fyi…

Hulu Plus Is Currently a Dreadful Beating on the PS3

It’s no fun when you curl up with your significant other or your father’s cat and you get this message. Incessantly.

hulu-plus-review

Or you don’t even get the message – just a gray loading screen while you wait for the service to respond.

And of course… the advertising is dreadful. Once you’ve seen the same ad ten or 15 times, rage starts to bubble up from your gut. This is not a feeling you want when you’re trying to relax. So my tip for today is “it ain’t ready yet.” There are rumors that Hulu Plus may someday go ad-free, albeit possibly for a higher price than Netflix. Hrm. Interesting strategy, Hulu: deliver less but charge more. Good luck with that.

Draw Something iOS Circles the Drain

Zynga Breaks Draw Something Again

I admit, I play Draw Something on my iPhone. And I often regret it. On my old 3GS, I would only play when I knew I was going to get refreshments or warm up the bathwater because that’s how long it took to load. But my friends play, and some of them (Sue Holden!) are amazing fingertip artists.

Some Zynga History, OMG!

As you may have heard, Zynga, the game’s owners, have destroyed OMGPOP, the studio that created Draw Something, even though OMGPOP offered to buy themselves back so they can continue to make games and provide jobs. Zynga turned them down. The OMGPOP website will be torched soon, although I assume that Draw Something on iOS will continue. I haven’t seen any specific mention of Draw Something v.1.

I’m not going to rail on Zynga for this because I don’t know the full story. It’s possible that they value OMGPOP higher than the studio itself does, and simply didn’t want to start a negotiation. And as some publications have speculated, Zynga would look pretty stupid if OMGPOP went on to score some major hits. It also could be embarrassing to have to valuate OMGPOP not long after buying it for a cool $200M in March 2012. No one likes to admit they overpaid, but we all know they did, and we know the OMGPOPpers weren’t going to pay that same price on the way out. Still, it’s sad to see jobs cut, lives shaken, and viable game properties turned to charcoal.

And Now Draw Something’s Broken

Recently, Sue and I both noticed that Draw Something 1 (not the new version, which we never bothered to install) is jacked, and there’s a resurgence of people complaining about this error on the ‘net. It happens in a particularly frustrating way: you finish your drawing, press send, and the game coughs up this error message: “Hey it looks like you are playing on multiple devices.” After a suggestion that you not play on multiple devices (which I don’t), you’re kicked back out and your drawing is lost forever.

This, my friends, is the difference between fun and work.

There is a post on the Zynga support site, dated August 1, that says they’re working on it. At the same time, I have to wonder: how hard would it be for a disgruntled OMGPOP employee to throw a very large virtual wrench into the works of some of Zynga’s biggest properties?

Bing Wants You To Eat a Motsu Pod

motsu-podAs some of you know, I do a fair amount of work in the world of Local SEO or “LSO”. That is, I help clients optimize their data so that they appear in map search engines for phrases like “Detroit florist.”

Today I was greatly amused by some of the categories Bing provided for businesses to self-categorize. (For you LSO geeks out there: they now accept a bulk feed, by the way.) You may not know what a motsu pod is, much less have a yearning to sink your teeth into one. Google doesn’t know what it is, and neither does Wikipedia. However, if you have a motsu pod restaurant, Bing has a business category just for you.

Here are some other categories that you could dominate on Bing:

  • Shabu shabu restaurant
  • Oden restaurant
  • Ship restaurant (is this a restaurant on a ship? a restaurant shaped like a boat? an obscure cuisine? or just a restaurant that serves planks and rigging?)
  • Andhra restaurant
  • Beef tongue restaurant.

Don’t get me wrong — I do enjoy beef tongue. It’s probably my second-favorite choice at the local burrito place. But have you ever seen a restaurant that specializes in beef tongue? What would such a restaurant be called? Cow Tongue Muscle Garden? The Cattle Lick? Bessie’s Busses?

Back Up Wordpress to Google Drive? Careful!

back up wordpress to google drive

Just a quick little rant about backing up your Wordpress blog to Google Drive.

I love this idea, but at the moment it’s an example of why you can’t always trust what you read in a quick Google search. Dig deeper, my geeks.

There are two Wordpress plugins that you’ll see scattered around in the top search results for this topic: Google Drive for Wordpress and the simplistically-named Backup. However, look a little closer at those pages on Wordpress.org that describe the plugins.

Users rated GD4WP as a 3.6 out of 5, which is by no means stellar. 0 out of 1 of the most recent support threads have been address, and if you visit the support forum, you’ll see that most of the posters are angry or confused users posting responses to other angry or confused users. Backup is even worse, rated a 3.4 with a brutal 0 out of 5 support threads resolved.

I, for one, am about to install the much-less-touted UpdraftPlus Backup, which I found simply by searching wordpress.org plugins for “google drive” and ignoring unrelated plugins and the other two plugins mentioned here. I’m optimistic; it’s rated a 4.7, 60 out of 64 support threads have been resolved lately, and it’s got tons more downloads than the other two. If you guys want an update in a few weeks, let me know in the comments.

Why I Hate Stealth Games, and More

stealth games suckStealth Games and Why They Suck

Just got through playing a fair number of hours of Hitman: Absolution. It’s well-executed (ha ha) and smooth. I love how you can perform the right actions in context that you expect your hero to be capable of. But I hate stealth games.

I think we’ve all played our share of stealth games. Metal Gear Solid, Thief, Assassin’s Creed. Splinter Cell, and most recently Dishonored. These are all quality games, but stealth is just so infinitely tedious. I mean, why would I enjoy watching guards’ patrol patterns waiting for a chance to sneak by them? And there’s nothing I hate more than sitting in a closet waiting for guards to stand down from high alert.

Yeah, that’s how I want to spend my spare time: waiting for timed idiot NPCs to come off their hissy.

Why isn’t there a “skip hissy” button?!?

Stealth Games Are Like…

I think stealth games have inherited the mediocrity mantle of bad hunt-and-click adventure games. You know the ones: the games where you have to hover your mouse over every single pixel of prerendered 2D scenes, looking for the idiotic mouse tail or letter opener or whatever object you need to solve the puzzle you’re working.

Instead of hunting pixels, stealth games make you hunt locations for the perfect sniper perch, access tunnel, or sabotage opportunity. Unfortunately, unlike the hunt-and-click games, stealth games make you perform that hunt while sneaking around and avoiding swarms of hostile NPCs at the same time.

Folding@Home Leaves the PS3

In other news, we were saddened to see that Sony’s cut the ties to Stanford’s Folding@Home. It says here that 15 million users donated over 100 million computation hours to help research Alzheimer’s and cancer via the Life with Playstation app at the PS3 homescreen. What an amazing record of generosity for the Playstation community. It’s too bad it’s coming to an end, but with all the security and integrity concerns of the Sony monolith, it’s not surprising. Cheers to Playstation users everywhere.

PS3 Controller Problems

Game Industry Denizens – Not Immune to PS3 Controller Problems

My PS3 controller’s started to cause me problems lately. It’s the “random dpad button presses” problem. I’m putting along, just trying to destroy digital things in my little fantasy worlds, and suddenly my avatar is changing weapons like a dervish and insulting all of my teammates in Fat Princess. I went from “least likely to be remembered” (well, except when I capture the little tower in front of the enemy castle, hee hee) to “that guy who won’t shut up” in about 30 seconds.

Ah, but the savvy consumer knows that Youtube is the place to go with your PS3 controller woes. Thanks to playstation2bigs and a fair amount of noodling with a thin Phillips-head screwdriver, my controller’s back in action. Although there were a few cat hairs inexplicably trapped inside the casing, my PS3 controller was pretty clean. I think the main problem was just bad design. As shown in the video, the contact between the dpad and the controller’s motherboard is quite delicate: it’s made by two plastic strips with copper contacts, pressed against each other. I’m amazed that more people don’t have problems, especially in humid areas or in sweaty little hands.

I didn’t even bother with the sticky tape as depicted by playstation2bigs — I simply folded up a little piece of paper and shimmed that connection with it. Bingo.

Note that the final re-assembly is a little dodgy too. The shoulder buttons may not want to sit properly when you fit the case back together, and if you force it, your shoulder buttons won’t spring back like they should. Just jimmy with it, making sure that the buttons have full clearance before you screw it back together. Best of luck to ya!