Posts | Austin videogame writer thoughts

Why I Hate Stealth Games, and More

Stealth Games and Why They Suck

Just got through playing a fair number of hours of Hitman: Absolution. It’s well-executed (ha ha) and smooth. I love how you can perform the right actions in context that you expect your hero to be capable of. But I hate stealth games.

I think we’ve all played our share of stealth games. Metal Gear Solid, Thief, Assassin’s Creed. Splinter Cell, and most recently Dishonored. These are all quality games, but stealth is just so infinitely tedious. I mean, why would I enjoy watching guards’ patrol patterns waiting for a chance to sneak by them? And there’s nothing I hate more than sitting in a closet waiting for guards to stand down from high alert.

Yeah, that’s how I want to spend my spare time: waiting for timed idiot NPCs to come off their hissy.

Why isn’t there a “skip hissy” button?!?

Stealth Games Are Like…

I think stealth games have inherited the mediocrity mantle of bad hunt-and-click adventure games. You know the ones: the games where you have to hover your mouse over every single pixel of prerendered 2D scenes, looking for the idiotic mouse tail or letter opener or whatever object you need to solve the puzzle you’re working.

Instead of hunting pixels, stealth games make you hunt locations for the perfect sniper perch, access tunnel, or sabotage opportunity. Unfortunately, unlike the hunt-and-click games, stealth games make you perform that hunt while sneaking around and avoiding swarms of hostile NPCs at the same time.

Folding@Home Leaves the PS3

In other news, we were saddened to see that Sony’s cut the ties to Stanford’s Folding@Home. It says here that 15 million users donated over 100 million computation hours to help research Alzheimer’s and cancer via the Life with Playstation app at the PS3 homescreen. What an amazing record of generosity for the Playstation community. It’s too bad it’s coming to an end, but with all the security and integrity concerns of the Sony monolith, it’s not surprising. Cheers to Playstation users everywhere.

PS3 Controller Problems

Game Industry Denizens – Not Immune to PS3 Controller Problems

My PS3 controller’s started to cause me problems lately. It’s the “random dpad button presses” problem. I’m putting along, just trying to destroy digital things in my little fantasy worlds, and suddenly my avatar is changing weapons like a dervish and insulting all of my teammates in Fat Princess. I went from “least likely to be remembered” (well, except when I capture the little tower in front of the enemy castle, hee hee) to “that guy who won’t shut up” in about 30 seconds.

Ah, but the savvy consumer knows that Youtube is the place to go with your PS3 controller woes. Thanks to playstation2bigs and a fair amount of noodling with a thin Phillips-head screwdriver, my controller’s back in action. Although there were a few cat hairs inexplicably trapped inside the casing, my PS3 controller was pretty clean. I think the main problem was just bad design. As shown in the video, the contact between the dpad and the controller’s motherboard is quite delicate: it’s made by two plastic strips with copper contacts, pressed against each other. I’m amazed that more people don’t have problems, especially in humid areas or in sweaty little hands.

I didn’t even bother with the sticky tape as depicted by playstation2bigs — I simply folded up a little piece of paper and shimmed that connection with it. Bingo.

Note that the final re-assembly is a little dodgy too. The shoulder buttons may not want to sit properly when you fit the case back together, and if you force it, your shoulder buttons won’t spring back like they should. Just jimmy with it, making sure that the buttons have full clearance before you screw it back together. Best of luck to ya!

Game of the Year? Dead Island Thoughts

Dead Island Releases Dubious Game of the Year Edition To Muffled Groans

Zombies. How many must we slay to save the world?

Unfortunately, Dead Island brought us a tropical island full of them, and if my multiple-rental of the title is any indication, putting zombies in paradise is not any substitute for fresh ideas. It’s not like Dead Island isn’t devoid of innovation. There’s a strong emphasis on melee combat, and some of the environments are really quite impressive. Open-world GTA gameplay is fun, the use of non-zombie opponents is introduced flawlessly, and there are a variety of zombies to provide you with some challenge, although they’re not as distinctive as Left 4 Dead’s. You can build and customize your own weapons, kind of like the homebrew weapons in Fallout 3… oh, there I go again, mentioning superior games in the same breath as Dead Island. Sorry.

Things Not to Dev on Your Zombie Vacation

I think a lot of my frustration with Dead Island comes from seeing the potential wasted here. The camera is janky, and there’s a common bug that destroys your weapons when you’re crafting at a workbench. Worst of all, in my opinion, is that when the game should really shine — when the combat gets tricky and zombies are piling up around you like flies around flank steak — this videogame gets balky and petty. There’s a stun effect, for example, that knocks you down when you need it least (although it does usually refrain from piling on during recovery). The auto-arm function will have you swigging booze instead of swinging death if you’re not careful. When compared with the combat in Just Cause 2, another title from the same developer, Dead Island just feels broken.

And there’s that fundamental flaw of a FPS that focuses on melee combat: It’s very difficult to judge melee weapon targeting and range. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Dead Island actually makes this even trickier by mixing up the strike area for weapons because your avatar is sometimes swinging it left and then right. Realism wins, gameplay loses.

P.S. Game Writers Are Cheap

And, you guessed it, this title is badly in need of a game writer. Individual quests rarely transcend the “FedEx” errandboy task. You’ll quickly tire of ferrying miscellaneous trinkets and killing off various spawn groups for rote rewards from uninterested and non-interactive NPCs who turn back into animated shrubbery as soon as you finish the task. The overall story arc is so slight as to be invisible: you’re somebody who wants to get off the island. Huh. When compared with the warring factions of Fallout 3 or the tightly-scripted, unique team-based missions of Left 4 Dead, you can see why it’s a pale star in the firmament.

I love what some people are saying about the game: that it failed to deliver the “emotional experience” promised in the trailers. How is it that, time after time, game studios fail to invest a little bit of time into structuring a game that packs a bit of storyline punch? Not that it would’ve been possible to do so without structural support, mind you. A bit more dialogue or a dozen more cutscenes, tacked on at the end of dev, is not sufficient. But if those cutscenes and a few missions were intelligently structured before production, well… I’d venture to say it could be done. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say that this game could’ve packed that emotional punch with the same amount of developmental time and effort if it had been a priority from day one.

Sadly, that wasn’t the case.

P.S. Dead Island won their Game of the Year from Gamecritics.com, in a year that also featured Deux Ex: Human Revolution, Portal 2, and Skyrim. And they only gave out one GOTY award. Hmmm.

A Game Study and a Game Writer Question

Videogames have endured a lot of scrutiny in recent years. Games cause antisocial behavior. Games cause psychosis. Games cause incontinence!

We have some good news on the public relations front, game writing aficionados. Word from The Atlantic is that games, especially games with a physical aspect, might be an antioxidant of sorts for aging minds.

“But the benefits may extend beyond just fun and games — studies are also showing that these exergames — video games that encourage physical activity — are also proving to help with depression, sense of place and relevancy.”

So as we head into the holiday season, folks, be kind to your loved ones. Don’t bring a fruitcake home on your vacation — take your Wii, Kinect, or Playstation Move instead.

Hi! I’m not sure if you answer questions – but I’m not sure where to go. Is it okay to go back and forth between 2nd person (you/your) and 3rd person (each player) when writing a manual? I am trying to edit a manual for a friend and I have no idea. Thank you. – AlishaWe also received a game manual writing question recently and decided it might be worthwhile to share it so you can see an example of a challenge you might face if you were writing game documentation:

Here is the core of our response:

I am fairly certain this is fine. Game manuals are very utilitarian documents. The alternatives (“you and your coplayer”, “you and Player 2”, “you and your buddy”) are usually distracting and awkward.

Thanks, Alisha… we hope to see your trading card/board game on the market soon!

Newsflash: The Earth Isn’t Round

Hey, Somebody Sat On My Planet!

Kids, today we’ll talk about things astronomical, because videogame writers are such geeks.

First up, take a look at this lumpy dumpy planet we live on! I mean, I never expected Earth to be a perfect sphere, but this is an abomination. Newsflash: the earth isn’t round or square. Instead, it looks a bit like a mutant melon after a head-on encounter with a rampaging herd of bison.

I certainly expected the Andes to be tall and the Marianas Trench to be deep, but to see these elevations on a global scale is a bit disconcerting. I mean, the Pacific Rim sticks out like the world’s great schnozz.

This model was created using data from the European Space Agency’s GOCE mission. Pretty cool. You can see another version of the model on Youtube, which looks a bit more realistic but also lacks the cool angles of this video.

And of course you need to twiddle a bit with the brilliant Scale of the Universe animation. Humbling to see the sizes of everything compared on a simple slider that goes from .0000000001 yoctometers (!) to 900 Yottameters, aka the whole universe. And it’s all set to a lovely little musical score.

Can the Game Industry Ever Do 40?

The Videogame Industry and the 40 Hour Workweek

TIME Magazine has a new article up about the 40-hour workweek. Most people in the game industry find this concept quaint. “That’s for regular jobs,” they’ll say, or “Never gonna happen.” Not only are long “crunch” hours often necessary because of publisher deadlines, the dreaded holiday season shelf space rush, and the difficulty of creating bespoke software, but crunch is part of game industry lore. Crunch is a rite of passage. No one likes it, but we often accept it as a beautiful torment, like labor pains for an expectant mother.

Still, the article makes some great points. I hadn’t been aware that Ford Motor, of all organizations, had run a series of trials to determine the optimal workweek, and they concluded that forty is the magic number. The guys who invented the American assembly line decided that more hours would actually decrease productivity and increase errors. Longer hours would create sloppy work that would have to be redone.

We’ve definite seen a tremendous amount of labor wastage in the game industry. Producers or department leads chasing bad ideas down rabbit holes, rogue employees fighting fiercely for features that are clearly out of place in the game’s schedule and scope, and yes, flawed game concepts that never should have left the drawing board. Each of these wrong turns costs thousands of dollars and precious resources. However, game industry veterans could easily argue that many such missteps are made by executives who are getting plenty of sleep (and perhaps too much alcohol or other mind-altering substances).

For those of you who want to get a game industry job, make sure you know about the work-life balance in games and read up about “EA Spouse,” the infamous person who stood up to Electronic Arts (and many many other industry players) about the sacrifices it demands.

Pizza Delivery? Or Papa Murphy’s?

Pizza Parties and Videogaming = Bliss

The next time you’re thinking about getting some pizza delivery, don’t forget that you’ve got other options, including the take n’ bake offerings from Papa Murphy’s.

Trying the Taco Grande Pizza

The kind folks at Papa Murphy’s set us up with a taste of their limited-time-only Taco Grande pizza on a recent Friday night, and we gotta hand it to them — they are adventurous! And not only that but successful. This pizza sounds like a mindbender, but it’s remarkably harmonious on the tongue. The ingredients: seasoned taco beef (which tastes a bit like sausage), refried beans, salsa, mozzarella cheese, black olives, roma tomatoes, green onions, and cheddar.

Note the utter lack of tomato sauce in the mix. That’s right: rather than spreading on tomato sauce to start the pizza, like 99.9% of the pizzas you’ve ever consumed, the Papa Murphy’s folks decided to start with refried beans and take it a la mexicana the rest of the way…! And que sabroso — it totally works! “It’s really good!” says Nicole. Also, there’s no sales tax, as I found out recently. It’s not cooked, so it’s not taxable, and the Papa Murphy’s prices are already pretty darned good.

I have to applaud the innovation. Also, they don’t skimp on the toppings. For the price of a two-topping pizza, we got this monster with — count ’em — seven toppings, not including the refried beans. Nice. Too bad there’s not one of these places closer to my house.

Gaming Recap

We started out with a strong dose of Portal 2, which Fred kindly brought. It was my first Portal experience (I know, where’ve I been) and it was an enjoyable one. It’s deviously simple and yet oh so deviously difficult. It takes a certain puzzle-solving kind of mentality to enjoy, one which I wasn’t 100% in thanks to a rough week, but I still got a kick out of. It’s also a surprisingly good group game because there’s little time pressure and everyone can sit around and throw out puzzle-solving suggestions. I think Fred also enjoyed the chance to see the co-op levels that he’d never been able to play.

As before, Rock Band was the capper of the evening. We got to try a huge variety of genres, and several people sung themselves happy and hoarse. Good times indeed.

Mini-Review: The John Carter Movie

Writer Patrick Sullivan contributes this mini-review of the new movie based on Edgar Rice Burrough’s books:

I saw a sneak of John Carter recently and I say go see it. Really, ignore the horrible marketing and lackluster trailers Disney have done for the film, and give it a shot. It is breezy, accessible, swashbuckling fun that never takes itself too seriously, just serious enough to deliver the story earnestly without any kind of postmodern nudge nudge, wink wink.

It is definitely a “boy’s story”* in that there’s essentially only two female characters** (one red and one thark) but the screenwriters (including Michael Chabon) did decent work at giving Deja Thoris real motivation and elevating her above being just a mere damsel in distress. The only clunky bits for me were Taylor Kitsch’s dreadful delivery of several lines.

I’m glad this film survived the post-production hell it languished in for a bit.

* Well, it was a proto-pulp adventure written in 1912, how could it not be?
** Though if you look closely at the extras, you’ll see that there are a fair number of female soldiers serving in the Heliumite and Zodangan armies.

Game Writer Roundup: Bulletstorm

Bulletstorm Isn’t Brainless – Surprise!

game-writer-roundup-bulletstorm Your game writer tip today is to check out Bulletstorm — not much press coverage, but a really tight little action shooter with finely tuned gameplay, good characters, unique weapons, funny action segments (including one where you get to drive a giant mechanical dino through a level and smash the attitude outta the bad guys), and a slick stylish storyline. The level design on this thing is quite delicious.

It’s nice to see a game take some risks, and Bulletstorm definitely does that. It’s a new property and new protagonist. The game introduces both a leash that you use to yank around enemies, objects, and explosives, plus a kick that engages a bit of a bullet-time effect that can be used to juggle enemies and create extra carnage. Last but not least, the game introduces a system that rewards you for stylish and/or outlandish kills; thus the moniker “Kill with Skill.” The conceit is that the planet was once set up as training ground for elite troopers, and those systems are now rewarding you with addictive weapon upgrades and teasing you with kill objectives.

The slogan “Kill with Skill” was a bit of a turnoff for me, actually. I’m not big on gore. If a game advertises itself as “over the top” or “in your face,” I’m not interested. Games that spray the screen with blood annoy me because I’m trying to excel, not revel in violence. But Bulletstorm hits that sweet spot of brash action and neurotically-tuned gaming mechanics.

Bulletstorm’s short but has some cool online multiplayer options too. I never was entirely sure how much Cliff Bleszinski really contributed when he first hit the scene — I like Unreal but Gears of War is not one of my favorite shooters — but as design director for Epic, he surely was behind some of the refreshing zing in Bulletstorm. Nice job, guys. Best, most addictive shooter I’ve played in a loooong time.

EA’s Ultimate Gaming Makeover Ends on the 30th!

Our friends at EverythingGreat want you to get in on a chance to win a 52″ HDTV, an Xbox 360 Console with Kinect, two themed gaming recliners, EA SPORTS games, and more…! Hurry because the sweeps ends in a few days.

Take ‘N’ Bake Pizza Makes Gamers Happy

Papa Murphy’s Pizza Experiment a Huge Success

Take ‘n’ bake pizza from Papa Murphy’s has always been close to my heart — I used to feast on it when I lived in Northern California, back when I worked at Rocket Science and 3DO. So when Papa Murphy’s approached me to ask if I’d be willing to throw a videogaming pizza party and write about it, well, heck yeah!

Videogaming and Pizza, BFFs 4EVR

If you haven’t tried Papa Murphy’s pizza, you should enlighten yourself. Papa Murphy’s does “take ‘n’ bake” pizzas, which means you pick up your freshly-made pizza from the store, made just like you like it, and bake it at home when you’re ready to eat. Why, you ask?

It’s fresh, not that cardboard pizza that you get in a supermarket freezer.
Since Papa Murphy’s doesn’t have to bake the pizza, it’s inexpensive.
You can add your own toppings at home.
The pizza’s ready when you want, not when the queue clears at the pizza restaurant.
It’s quality pizza.

Vegetarians, Don’t Arrive Late

In the Game Writer Central pizza experiment, Papa Murphy’s pizzas were a huge hit, garnering multiple spontaneous comments about the delicious and hearty offerings. We baked up the Gourmet Vegetarian pizza first, and even the carnivores ripped into it with gusto, leaving a few late-arriving vegetarians with some envious feelings.

A Pizza My Heart

As for the games, we started out with Motorstorm, moved on to Wipeout HD, switched to a bit of four-player Little Big Planet, and wrapped up with a solid dose of Rock Band. A good time was had by all.

Thanks, Papa Murphy’s!